Wednesday, February 21, 2024
Today I went to lunch with an old, dear friend. We were celebrating both our birthdays which are three days apart, though there is also a slight matter of ten years between us. (Funny how those years make less and less difference as we age.) We don’t get many chances to get together these days and it was a wonderful treat just to have time to “catch up.”
During the course of the conversation, she mentioned that I was outspoken — not in a critical way, but in a very matter-of-fact tone of voice. I wasn’t exactly shocked… Well, maybe a little. Me? Outspoken? “Yes,” she insisted, “you always seem to say what you are thinking.” (Lordy, lordy, what a jumble that must be, I thought. But I didn’t say it out loud!)
When I got home, I went straight to my handy-dandy computer dictionaries and found these definitions from various sources:
1. Someone who is outspoken gives their opinions about things openly and honestly, even if they are likely to shock or offend people.
2, unrestrained in speech; frank.
3. spoken boldly or candidly.
4. uttered or expressed with frankness or without reserve.
Robert Burns
Oh my! I’m not sure I like any of those definitions overly much — at least not when applied to myself. Two quotations instantly came to mind. The first by one of my favorite poets, Robert “Rabbie” Burns:
O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us!
Is my friend’s observation what everyone sees in me?
And the second thought — one of the few pieces of advice my mother ever gave me: “When you speak, speak the truth. But don’t always speak.”
I think I’ve failed on both counts. Certainly I’ve never seen myself as “outspoken” — in fact I often chide myself for being too timid to speak out. And, although I do try to speak the truth, I think I don’t do so often enough and not always when it most matters.
I wonder if this lunchtime comment will end up being a game-changing revelation. Will I be more chaste of tongue and increasingly keep my thoughts to myself? Or is there another proverb that may take over at this point? “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks…”
Please do not keep your thoughts to yourself.
I so enjoy hearing what you have to say; good, bad or indifferent.
Remember, the people that mind don’t matter and the people that matter don’t mind.
We love hearing from you, you are an amazing writer.
Say it louder for the ones in the back.
Hillary, thanks for making me smile! Such a lovely affirmation (and just what I needed!)
As my grandfather used to say speak frankly and only when the recipient of the speech seeks what you have to say.
Grandy said that? Definitely great advice!
S.
Cuzzin Sydney, As appropriate for the day, George Washington said, “I cannot tell a lie…” from Mason Locke Weems, The Life of George Washington with Curious Anecdotes … Embellished with six engravings, 1840 ed. Those anecdotes were equally embellished!!!
Hmmm. I’ll have to think about that, Ralph!
Cuzzin S.
Sidney- I appreciate your honest opinions, your honestly presented perspectives and the truth found within your personal convictions. I may not agree with all of them, but please know, they stretch me to reconsider my own ‘long held’ opinions, perspectives & convictions. I consider it a privilege to hear such from one who has more life experience than I. Afterall, who can say they are the same person today as they were in their 20’s, 30’s etc.? An “opinion” is simply that. In your writings, I have found you to be one who is still able to challenge your own opinions, and at times, modify the perspective. Keep writing!
Sheila, Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. I appreciate your taking the time to write. The only thing I can say for sure about my opinions is that some will no doubt change… In the meantime, I hope I can keep a “fairly” open mind — at least with regard to the opinions of others who disagree with me! As a friend of mine often said, “It’s the least I can do; it’s the most I can do; it’s all I can do!”
S.