For once, my favorite role model “Maxine” had it all wrong!

In all my ninety years, I cannot remember another time that I couldn’t meet my obligations — especially if they involved being “on stage” for an event of importance.  Certainly never for a Summer Vespers “Oysterville Moment.”  And never in the history of a gathering of The Honorary Oysterville Militia!

But here I was down for the count.  I wasn’t running a fever but I was definitely down-then-up-then-down for twelve hours straight with what might be politely called “stomach flu.”  Sometimes I could make it the six steps from bed to porcelain throne in time; sometimes not.  And, even worse, sometimes I couldn’t even make it back to bed before another attack.  As a friend once said, “I don’t think I’m contagious, but it spreads…”  There was no way in the world on Saturday, July 4th — our nation’s 250th birthday — that I could serve in my capacity as Adjutant General of THOM and give the appropriate celebratory remarks to those gathered for our traditional Cannon Firing on July 4th.

Lt. David Olson receives his Certificate of Rank, September 2, 2024.

Lt. David Olson, former Mayor of Cathlamet, to the rescue!  Fortunately, he and his good wife Dayle arrived a few minutes early and David bravely stepped to my bedroom door and accepted “orders” to be the Master of Ceremonies in my stead.  In five minutes I gave him an overview of Oysterville’s role in Independence Day celebrations since our founding in 1854 when our nation was only 78 years old.  He asked pertinent questions.  I, no doubt, gave impertinent answers – but it all came off in grand style as the video taken by Julie Nelson Foster so beautifully documents.  (You should be able to see it using this link:  https://youtu.be/fL1QQcZjXdI?is=GhYZu9wYjnzYuJvK )   I would like to add that, in recognition of her generosity and skilled contribution to our THOM Archive, Julie has earned a commission as Lieutenant in the Honorary Oysterville Militia with the position of Public Affairs Officer.  We look forward to her future documentary work on our behalf!

Double J and the Boy — Oh how I wished I’d been at their Sunday performance!

The following day, Sunday-the-Fifth of July, found me sitting up but weak as the proverbial kitten.  I prevailed upon Suzanne Knutzen (already scheduled to do the honors as pianist at Sunday’s Music Vespers) to read “The Oysterville Moment” in my stead and Charlie Talbott to oversee the passing of the Collection Baskets.  By all accounts, it was a Vespers-to-Remember!  Pastor Bob Cantonwine spoke about our earliest U.S. Presidents, the Oysterville Moment was Ann “Memi” Anderson’s account of “World War II in Oysterville” and the congregation sang three rousing verses of “God Bless America.  As for the presentation of Double J and The Boy — “Fabulous!” was the concensus!  Especially their new song about hearing aids!  How I wish I’d been there to hear it!

They tell me that EVERY firing looks like this but is happens faster than the eye can see.  Photo by Lt. Charlie Talbot, Labor Day 2024.

All in all, it was a stellar Fourth of July Weekend in Oysterville and one I truly wish I had been part of and, most especially, to have witnessed!  I do want to add one note of interest — a “bird note,” actually.  Dayle Olson later reported that she had sat on my porch (while David was receiving his “orders of the day”) watching Mr. and Mrs. Swallow fly back and forth feeding their nestlings.  She also wrote:  “I even saw one of the parents remove a “poop sack” from the nest! That’s how they keep the nest clean – the babies’ poop comes out in tidy little sacks, and the parents remove it!  Madeline could have explained it better than me.”  I am still processing that new-to-me bit of information and very selfishly wondering why Mother Nature did not equip humans with such a device when emergencies such as I was experiencing last weekend interfere with best laid plans.  Wow!!