If only I were a superhero!

Apr 15, 2016 | 2 comments

supermanreboot1When I lived in Alameda, my friend Robert Reading used to run through the neighborhood with a doll blanket pinned around his shoulders being Superman. He was six.  I thought he was stupid.  I was eight.  When he tried to fly out our sunroom window and landed in my dad’s cactus garden I thought, “so much for special powers” and never seriously considered comic book characters again.  Until yesterday.

That’s when I decided that I’d like to become Vapor Woman – not to be confused with the Hanna-Barbera character Vapor Man from the planet Vaporous who can transform himself in to a gaseous state and fly around the galaxy and seep into small spaces. Plus, he appears to be half human and half something else – maybe reptile, maybe plant.  No.  Not for me.  Way too complicated.

Shoes on GrassI will look exactly as I am – a little old lady in tennis shoes.  I will drive my same spiffy red Prius-C and will go about my business as usual.  But when, as happened yesterday, I am proceeding at the speed limit, windshield wipers on the fast speed, crossing a narrow bridge with a double yellow center line, and some nitwit passes me at eighty-plus, my waggling finger (you know which one) will simply vaporize him, car and all.  Vapor Woman will have the power to forever neutralize (as in disintegrate-and-disappear) highway rule-breakers.  Never will they endanger law-abiding drivers, cyclists, or pedestrians again.  Glorious, Victorious Vapor Woman!!!

Cat WomanVapor Woman will never be seen or caught, of course, as in where are the cops when you need them?  Her targets will only catch the attention of the law if their names happen to show up on missing persons reports.  With her one-finger-waggle, they will become history.  And the highways of the world (or at least the ones within a 200-mile radius of Oysterville) will become safer places to travel.

Just for fun, I did a couple of those “Which superhero are you?” quizzes that I saw on FaceBook.  I turned out to be Cat Woman or Superman (take your pick) which clearly indicates that I have great potential.  Vapor Woman is bound to be a winner.  Don’t you agree?


  1. Dian

    you go girlfriend …

  2. Bruce Jones


    (if that is not unequivocal enough I can write more)


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