Popular Venue

     Yesterday I discovered that I made one of the worst faux pas of my life.  Not just a faux pas – an inconceivable, incontrovertible, impossible screw up.  It has to do with that silly Church Lady hat that I wear to schedule all things at the Oysterville Church.
     Suddenly, apropos of nothing, I dug out my wedding calendar to look at the dates scheduled for October and there, on Saturday October 16^th, is a paid-for wedding.  But, that’s the day of the Saturday afternoon Water Music Festival program at the Oysterville Church.  From  2:00 to 4:00  that afternoon Andrew Emlen and Jeffrey Reynolds will be playing to a full house.  GEEZUSLY-OLD-BLUE-SHIT-WINE!  What to do?  What to do?
     First thing is to determine what time the wedding is.  And pray.  Pray that it’s at 11:00.  Or at 1:00.  Or maybe at 7:00 p.m.  Any time but between 2:00 and 4:00.
     Next, pray that it is a really, really small wedding.  And maybe the wedding party might enjoy a concert.  Or maybe they could get married at the intermission.  Or maybe the school house is free and they could have the wedding there.  Or at our house.  Or…
     I called the Water Music President.  She just laughed.  “How can you be so cheerful?” I demanded.
     “What’s the alternative?” she countered.  Good point.
     “I want to resign as church lady,” I tell my husband.  “It’s time for Amelia Wachsmuth to take over.”
     “She can’t read or write yet,” he points out.
     “Apparently neither can I, anymore.”
     Well, the wedding turns out to be at 2:30.  Phone calls flew back and forth between the Water Music Prez, the bride, and me in the middle.  For a minute it looked like the bride was willing to change the wedding to 12:00 (bless her!) but when she checked it out with her wedding party that became a non-option.
     At one point the Prez asked, “What if both of us refuse to budge?”  What, indeed!?  “I guess I put the padlock on the church and leave town,” said I, not completely facetiously.
     If I could magically solve the problem I’d do it in a heartbeat.  More phone calls.  More angst.  And then, all of a sudden, it’s okay.  The Water Music Concert will be at the Inn at Harbor Village in Ilwaco.  As soon as the ticket holders’ contact information can be located, I will call each and every one and tell them that for this year only, there will be a change of venue for the Saturday afternoon concert.  Music to my ears!