MartaRoonieBobs
I don’t know who came up with “bonus” as a substitute for “step” but they should get a special prize. As in bonus-daughter instead of step-daughter. I blame the Grimm boys for giving “step” a bad name in their Cinderella story — but they probably had a warped perspective in the first place, their name being what it was!
In any case, Marta LaRue is the best bonus our family could have ever imagined! She’s beautiful, talented, funny, informed, and has all the right sensibilities. But, even beyond that, she has a special place and function in our family that I think we all just take for granted. For 62 years — yes since she was five years old! — she has been the gentle intermediary in all the family rough spots. I wonder if she even realizes it.
It was Marta who made sure that the favors her father bestowed upon her were equally shared with her younger “bonus” brother Charlie. It was Marta who charmed and distracted the relatives at a family reunion in 1964 when the adults in her life were having stormy times. It was Marta who gently took charge of “Granny,” my elderly and confused mother, during a Christmas trip to Los Angeles in the early 1990s. And it is so often Marta who puts just the right spin on a family problem, no matter its magnitude or portent.
Marta, c. 1959
Maybe every family has a MartaRoonieBobs — a name I gave her (or maybe Charlie did) when she was little — for no reason in particular. Just a fun name for when we were being silly. I hadn’t been raised with much awareness of family dynamics. I was an “only” child and so any buffering or negotiating or empathizing with the elder generation was all up to me. Ditto Nyel. We didn’t grow up with role models as to differing roles in the family. But… come to think of it, neither did Marta. She just seemed to come with qualities of grace and understanding. Part of the package!
All this comes to mind because a few days ago Marta and Charlie asked about the books they had given me for Christmas. Had I enjoyed them? My horrified response: “What books???” Big blank. Fortunately, Nyel remembered and went on the search. I wrote to “the kids” — Am reporting in: Nyel has not lost his touch. We’ve both looked high and low for my Christmas books (of which I actually had only the vaguest of memories, although Nyel remembered them right down to the dust jacket colors. On a lower shelf in my office (!) (where Nyel can scarcely navigate!!) he found the three of them, neatly stacked out of harm’s way. Reconstruction: I think I was in the middle of a couple of overdue library books so I put my gifties in a “special place.” YIKES!
Marta and Charlie, 2019
Marta’s response: Oh I’m sooo glad Nylie found your “forgotten, but not gone” books…lol- they were waiting patiently for you! What a nice absent-minded surprise…I’ve had more than a few of those kind of surprises” myself!! XOXS
Thanks, Marta! Forgiveness, humor, hugs and understanding all wrapped up together! As usual!
