Maybe I’m finally getting the hang of it…

Oct 29, 2023 | 2 comments

Black-eyed Susans in the Autumn Sun

A gorgeous day in Oysterville today!   Cool, clear, blue and gold and yellow and amber.  Autumn in all its glory!  Not a day for introspection and yet… here I was thinking (of all things!) about the people I’ve known over my lifetime that I could not sustain as friends.  And yet…

Somehow, it started with my thinking about my two biggest failures relationship-wise.  Husband #1 and Husband #2.  But my thoughts weren’t so much about my failings as what I gained from those marriages.  Besides Charlie and Marta, I mean.  They are gifts unto themselves.

Morgan, Quad (Charlie), Sydney – 1957

No.  I was thinking that had it not been for Morgan (Charlie’s dad), how long would it have taken me to learn that I could stand on my own two feet, provide for myself and my son, and actually figure out who I was and who I wanted to become.  A huge gift received at a painful price — but a gift, nonetheless.

Bill and Sydney LaRue 1961

And had it not been for Bill, (Marta’s Dad) would I have ever thought about teaching?  Would it have occurred to me to set aside my Stanford journalism degree and start over at San Francisco State?  And without that fabulous credential and introduction to the world of elementary education what would my next thirty-nine years have been?

As I murmulled through the day, I thought about others I had known  — girls and boys of my youth, men and women of my later years — people I couldn’t seem to connect with or appreciate.  And yet… I think I probably gained from each “failed” friendship or endeavor.  If not at the time, in retrospect.  The bigger question, of course, is did they?  A question that will probably never be answered, nor does it really need to be.  At least not by me.

It was an interesting day… in my head.


  1. Robert Gwinn

    You have such an amazing gift. Thank you for the words above. As an aside, I’m beginning to get past whatever cold like symptoms I have. May be back to normal by Tuesday.

  2. Lynn

    All failures teach lessons! Isn’t that the truth. Interesting to read of this – what brought you into each of your husbands lives? Academic to bohemian artist? Now what’s a story!


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