Day-by-Day

I can scarcely believe that I am back to looking for white spaces on the calendar – those precious days that nothing is written down.  No appointments, no obligations, not even any fun things that I’m looking forward to.  Just plain-old nothing.

When I was teaching, especially during the years that I was president of the teachers’ union in Hayward Unified School District and full-time in the classroom, my personal life revolved around my pocket calendar.  Before making a plan to attend a party, go to the dentist, or get my hair cut, I had to check for white spaces.  That process continued, to one degree or another, for all of my thirty-nine teaching years.

The day I retired (has it really been eleven years now?) I gave up that pocket calendar, firm in the belief that it would no longer be needed.  The days stretched ahead in all their uncluttered glory.  Even though I’d heard many of my retired friends lament about lack of time, I felt certain that I would have plenty of leisure to do the things I had put off for years.  And mostly, I would have time to write.

I continue to suffer under that delusion – at least to the extent that I look for the white spaces on the calendar to judge how much actual writing time I will have each month.  Even though I know full-well that I have to write every day No Matter What in order to make forward progress and to meet deadlines, I can’t shake the idea that “quality writing” can happen only when there is nothing else that needs doing that day.

What I need, of course, is an attitude adjustment.  Either I need to accept that I can write ‘around the edges’ of my life or I can decide that I am engaged in a second career and block out nine-to-five for my job at the keyboard.  So far, I can’t even decide what advice I would give to someone else about said dilemma.

And, here it is, the first of July.  There are twelve white spaces on my calendar…