Havetos and Gettos

Feb 17, 2012 | 3 comments

Sydney in Oysterville, 1939

     When I was a young girl, I hadn’t heard of “the power of positive thinking” or of “the cup being half full.”  My life was simply a matter of havetos (as in you have to go to the dentist and get your braces tightened or you have to clean up your room)  and gettos (as in you get to go outside and play until dinnertime or you get to go see the new “Road” picture with Bob Hope and Bing Crosby.)
     It seems to me that most of the gettos were connected to ifyous.  If you put away your toys you get to listen to “Let’s Pretend” on the radio.  The havetos, of course, were decided upon by forces beyond your control like your parents, or by circumstances like getting sick.  And they were really serious like having to stay in bed or go to the doctor.  But, as I remember, my life was mostly gettos.  Thank goodness!
     I didn’t realize until long after I was grown that not all of my playmates had as many gettos as I did.  For me, for instance, school was a getto.  The only haveto I associated with it was having to eat some breakfast before I left the house.  That always left me feeling a bit sick to my stomach and as soon as I went away to college, I gave up eating first thing in the morning.  (Ever since, breakfast is a getto if I can wait a few hours for it.)
     I was amazed when I learned that some of my friends looked upon school as a haveto.   They thought of visiting the relatives as a haveto, also.  And, even of going to camp as a haveto!  They were the Eeyores among my friends.  I tried to stick with the Poohs and Piglets.
     I remember hearing some older people made dire predictions and ominous statements – “when you grow up, you’ll realize…” or “enjoy being young while you can…”  I knew even then that they were referring to the grim realities and responsibilities of life as an adult when it would be all havetos and very few gettos.  But, I hadn’t heard of “making lemons out of lemonade” back then, either.
     I’m happy to report that my life is still more gettos than havetos.  The number of doctor’s appointments are creeping up, of course, and housework and gardening definitely fall into a gray area… So far, though, the gettos are way out in front. 

3 Comments

  1. Nancy

    Sydney: I have ALWAYS thought of you as having what is described as a wonderful childhood. Because I knew both of your parents, I can recall looking at them and thinking about how my life might have been if I had had THEM as parents. Oysterville is, of course, a huge part of your growing up years and the memories. LOVED today’s offering to us, your faithful readers.

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    • sydney

      Yes, Nan, I think I did have a wonderful childhood. But I also remember how fascinated I was with your mom — so artistic and glamorous to my young eyes. And, though I couldn’t have put words to it, I was always so impressed at all the responsibility you were given and how you seemed to take it all in stride. Mostly, I wonder what those young girls would have said if they had known that they would be friends for all these years?!

      Reply
  2. Stephanie Frieze

    A cunning picture of an obviously happy child, Sydney. I believe creating the “gettos” is important for a happy life as an adult as many of us tend to overload ourselves with the “havetos”. Catching up on your blogs is one of my “gettos” on a Sunday morning!

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