There is almost always wind in Oysterville. It’s one of the givens when it comes to coastal living.  Our intrepid regatta sailors count on it; it blows away the clouds so that we have periods of clear blue sky, even on rainy days; it helps dry our wet lawns so we can mow without that bothersome clumping problem.

Even so, I don’t like the wind.  I especially don’t like it every ten days or so when it’s necessary to spray the deer repellent around the garden.  Though we try to avoid planting deer-candy like tulips and pansies and sunflowers, there are plenty of temptations in our garden.  There are fruit trees and hydrangeas, old-fashioned roses and camellias – all of them here specifically for the pleasure of our white-tailed friends, at least from their viewpoint.

And so, in defense of the vulnerable plant people, we spray them with something called “Liquid Fence Deer and Rabbit Repellent.”  It is said to be made of “all natural” ingredients; it’s spendy; it’s smelly; it’s one hundred percent effective if used regularly.  We’ll come back to the ‘smelly’ part but, first, let’s examine the ‘regularly’ part.

Like all of those other periodic chores, it’s the remembering that is the most difficult.  And even when we put SPRAY in big letters on the calendar, our weather often factors in. Though the label says it won’t wash off in the rain, it seems a no brainer that it won’t even get on if it’s actively raining on a Spray Day.

That, of course, opens up another can of worms – or in this case, herd of deer.  They aren’t inclined to wait for a non-rainy day to invade the garden.  I’m not saying they specifically wait for rainy days, but it does seem that if we have a long spell of that ‘liquid sunshine’ and we can’t apply the liquid fence, here come the deer.  And, as all gardeners know, it only takes one visit and a few bites here and there to wreak havoc.

The other aspect of ‘regular’ spraying, of course, is the wind.  As suggested earlier, if it isn’t actively raining here in Oysterville, there is probably wind.  But given the alternative, we have learned to spray even when it’s blowing more than a zephyr.

And now we’ve come full circle back to the smell.  OMG!  It is the worst!  Despite all the reassurances that it is non-toxic and on the EPA’s list of minimal risk ingredients, you have to wonder what combination of eco-friendly substances could produce such an odor.  Though it’s not listed on the label, I’m convinced that it is concentrated deer piss, plain and simple.  (I did read, though, that this would not deter female deer.  So, I’m probably wrong.)

Since Nyel had been down for the count, I’m the chosen one to do the spraying.  I’ve discovered many ways to minimize the blow back caused by the wind, but the bottom line is that no self-respecting deer or anyone else would approach me after my fifteen or twenty minutes of spray duty is over.  Thus it is, I go out in my boots and bathrobe, spray my little heart out, remove my boots by the back door, go back inside via the laundry room where I place said robe in the washer and then head for a shower with double the usual soaping and shampooing.

Eeeuuuhhh!  That stuff is nasty!  But so far, every leaf and bud in the garden is intact – as least insofar as munching deer are concerned!  Now, about those slugs…