Even though I’m fairly certain that our girls are non-readers and not even that much interested in the pictures, I have no intention of letting them get an accidental look at our newly acquired reading matter.  It’s a book that will not leave the confines of the house.  In fact, it will probably live in the kitchen, a safe and suitable distance from our hens.

I’m sorry to be so selfish about it.  Fifty Shades of Chicken is a gorgeous volume but, after all, it’s a recipe book devoted to culinary delights involving chickens.  But that’s not the part I’m feeling protective about.  I’ve told our girls since they were hatchlings that it’s their eggs that are of interest.  No way are they, themselves, headed for the stew pot.

No.  It’s the provocative aspects of this beautifully illustrated book that I don’t want them exposed to.  The photographs are so enticing and the recipe descriptions so mouth-watering, that I’m fearful the girls might be tempted to stray from the coop and into a life of sinful pleasure.  Take the recipe for “Cream Slicked Chick,” for instance.  It is introduced (as are all the recipes) with a conversation between the chef and his chicken partner:

“You have the most beautiful skin, pale and not one feather.  I want to crisp every single inch of it.”
“You can crisp me any time,” I purr.
“How about a little honey and spice,” he asks suggestively…

Way too enticing and seductive for our wholesome, backyard girls.  Even the recipe titles – “Chile-Lashed Fricassee,”  “Hot Rubbed Hen,” or “Learning to Truss You” – could easily tempt them into a life doomed to begin by sharing a shelf in the fridge with a ham so enormous I have to huddle up against the door as one chicken victim describes her fate  in the book’s introduction.

Not that Farmer Nyel and I don’t intend to enjoy the book and the recipes ourselves!  We are, indeed, planning on chicken dinner adventures for some time to come.  And, we have already recommended the book (and even given a copy!)  to friends.  It’s just that this book is not suitable reading material for the girls and we want to be responsible stewards (ahem!) of our flock.