I learned recently that a woman I know has hired someone to write her biography. I was amazed. I know that celebrities hire authors (usually well-known authors) to ghost write their autobiographies, but this person is not a celebrity except, perhaps, in her own mind. Also, according to my informant, the writer she hired is young and fairly inexperienced.
Hard on the heels of my incredulity came a niggling realization that perhaps I was jealous. But of what? Was I jealous of the writer who got the job – never mind that the person hiring is notorious for not paying bills? Or was I jealous that no one is writing my biography? I decided to discount the latter reason. Why would anyone? My life has been great but isn’t book quality. And, besides, I probably satisfy that ego-itch by blogging.
Maybe the annoying part is that I don’t think the biographer’s subject, in this case, has had a more interesting or meaningful life than mine and probably not even half as exciting as a lot of other people’s I know – people who would never dream of hiring a biographer. Somehow the whole thing seems wrong. And a bit sad.
I couldn’t help wondering how one would go about hiring a biographer so I Googled ‘hire a biographer’ and came up with 2,660,000 results! Wow! Big business, apparently. The very first entry I clicked on said, “Bare [sic] with us…” Their site had moved and apparently their command of English had not moved with them. (Or was I being invited to get naked?) Not promising.
Undaunted, I took a look at four or five more sites. I found contact information for many businesses that would provide me with a “professional” or a “family” biographer to preserve my memories for posterity. On the other hand, other sites told me how I, could make a good living by becoming a personal biographer, myself. Step-by-step instructions were plentiful. One site said (and I kid you not): “In order to become a good writer you will need to have a flair for writing. Good spellings [sic] and a good grasp of grammar are very important.”
I even learned that for $199 a month I can have a ghost writer in India write my daily blogs. All I have to do is provide a list of the subjects I want to cover and I will get one blog post a day – Mondays thru Fridays, only. Food for thought…

Is “OMG” one word or three?? I really need to know, cause I want to remark, “In a word, OMG!” and I want to be sure it’s not “In three words, OMG!” but I’m sure you, dear brilliant-writer person, will get the point. 😉
Assuredly one word as in ohmygod! Three definitely do not have the same impact!
“Dear brilliant writer person”??? Is that the old Jan sarcasm coming through?
Thank you! I almost spit out my coffee. Oh my…
Very funny!
Hummmmm, I wonder who the person is?
I always think eveyones life is alittle more exciting then mine. Except when I found out my Dad had three kids older then my older sister and they had been put in a orphanage by , maybe my mom, and my Dad was actually in the miltary and overseas when I was concived, would the goverment mail sperm home???
Point being with a good writer anyones life could be a book or movie.
A lot of cultures value thier story tellers, I would be a better story teller then writer simply because I am a lousy speller. LOL
I think that everyone’s child would appreciate a biography of their parent, but out-sourcing in India?? That’s a hoot, Sydney. Thanks for the laughter!