There’s something special about long-time friendships – something beyond shared experiences and fond memories.  I’m talking here of friendships that have endured for fifty or even sixty years.  Times have changed and we have changed but there is a comfort level and a feeling of trust that is deep and satisfying when we get together.
       Just now, my California friend Nan and her husband, Jack, are here visiting for a few days. Nan and I have been friends since junior high school and we get together once or twice a year.  It’s not exactly often enough but, even so, the visits are more frequent now than they were during our working-and-raising-kids time of life.  And we definitely pick up just where we left off – no re-grouping necessary.
     Last evening we talked about friendship.  We compared living in a small community where we know dozens of people from all walks of life (that would be us) with living in a newish community and forging new friendships (that would be them.)  We talked about frequent, casual visits with the neighbors (us) versus the ongoing friendships with people who belong to the same interest groups as we do (them.)
     And we talked about the differences in styles of friendships. I’ve noticed lately that patterns of give-and-take with my friends have to do with generational differences.  Or at least I think that’s true.  With my older friends – those of my parents’ generation – interaction is usually on a factual or need-to-know sort of basis.  We call or email to report who has died or what our kids are doing (if it’s something unusual) or maybe, in my case, to double-check some facts for something I’m writing,
     With my friends who are closer in age to my children than to me, our communication is usually more one-sided.  Seldom do they ask anything about my life, but I get a running commentary on theirs.  My take on that is that they are the all-about-me generation.
     Jack pointed out that, from the young people’s perspective, we elders are more settled in our lifestyles while they are still totally involved with careers and family (grandchildren, by now!).  Their relationship to us is more a don’t-ask-just-tell situation; it probably wouldn’t occur to them to wonder about what or how we are doing.  Yep, that’s what I said, “All about me.”  And yet, it’s through them that us “more settled” folks, stay current and more-or-less in touch with modern times.
     As for the even younger generations – the ages of our greats or grands – it’s probably more a matter of observation and polite curiosity rather than close friendships.  Except in the case of some of my several-times-removed second cousins.  Friendships with them are all about fun and laughter and possibilities…
     When all is said and done, I can’t help but think of the old children’s song:
                         Make new friends,
                         But keep the old.
                         One is silver,
                         The other is gold.