Dale, Sydney, Charlie – 1959

     This marks the first Mother’s Day in many years that I am only on the receiving end of flowers and best wishes, and no longer on the giving end.  Being without my mom on Mother’s Day is a new experience – one of many since her death last June. 
     After his own father and mother died, one of my cousins told me, “You know, I don’t think we really become adults until both of our parents are gone.”  I thought about that quite a bit, especially in the years that my mother slowly faded away from us and we took on the roles of caregivers, financial managers, decision makers.  I’m not sure what my cousin meant.  I guess each person’s experience is different.
     When mom died, someone else said, “You know, Sydney, you’re an orphan now.”  That one was even harder for me to wrap my mind around.  My mom (and dad too, for that matter) had good long lives.  I knew them well, enjoyed their company, and took pride in their accomplishments.  I’ve been amazed to see how I grow more like each of them as the years go by.  No, even in the absence of both parents, I’m pretty sure I don’t feel like an orphan.
     I hope no one ever makes either of those observations to my son, or more to the point, I hope they are concepts that remain foreign to him.  He’s been an adult for a good many years.  I’ve always felt blessed that I was a young mother and that he and I have shared many “grown up” years together.  And feel orphaned?   Only if I’ve failed miserably as a mom.  YIKES!