The Place Next Door

     My folks sold the property directly north of us in the mid-eighties to John and Joan Hampson who, in 1987, built their retirement home there.  I remember the year well because Nyel and I were married in a surprise ceremony that summer at our 3^rd Annual Oysterville Croquet and Champagne Gala.  The Hampsons, their contractor, and many of the worker bees were among those at the festivities.
     Unfortunately, it wasn’t too long before both Joan and John had health issues.  Family members finally sold the house in 2006 to a woman from Portland and her friend who now lives in Costa Rica – or so we’ve heard.  He was friendly on the two or three occasions he was here.
     She, on the other hand, made it quite clear that she wasn’t interested in meeting the neighbors or in being any part of the community; she wanted the house as a retreat only.  Fair enough.  She related this to one of the neighbors who, early on, had mistakenly knocked on her door thinking to welcome her to Oysterville.
     The word quickly spread and, as far as we know, everyone in the village has honored that desire.  Not that there hasn’t been talk and speculation.  As in why would anyone buy into a little historic community like ours and not want to know anything about it or get acquainted with any of the people who live here?  Curious.  Still, to each his own.
     For some reason, though, Ms. Next Door Recluse calls us whenever she has a problem.  Like for advice on how to keep trespassers out of her yard.  We’ve never seen trespassers over there but we did suggest that she might keep her gate closed and put a ‘Private’ sign on it.  She did.
     So imagine our surprise the other night when we went to our friend Bradley’s birthday party at that very house – it has been a rental house for a few months now and, since his own kitchen is being remodeled, he had booked it for the weekend – and a piece of paper entitled “HOUSE GUIDELINES” was thrust at us.  It was encased in a clear plastic easel, prominently displayed, so that renters could be apprised of the expectations.  There were fifteen “guidelines.”
     “Read Rule Number Ten,” the voices chorused.  This is what it said:
     10) The neighbors are extremely NOSEY!!  I recommend shutting the gate and if they still make it through, please tell them you are my very good friends…do not let them in, they won’t leave!!
     Everyone in town was at Bradley’s party, of course, and they all thought that the “nosey” neighbors must be us.  After all, ours is the only adjacent house.  But we’ve not set foot on the property since the Hampsons owned it.  So who does she mean?
     The other curious thing is that she has recently put the house up for sale and, by our reckoning, renters should be among the most logical potential buyers.  But who wants to buy into a community with nosey neighbors?  Not a smart marketing ploy, I say.
     I’ve emailed her asking for a word of explanation.  I wonder if she will respond…