Cousins
Recently I read this: The splintering of the old-fashioned family clan. In nineteenth-century America, particularly in rural areas, families hung together into the fifth and sixth cousins. Today most families are scattered far and wide across the country, linked by little more than Christmas cards. The basic family unit – mother, father, children – stands largely alone. I was intrigued and copied it down but not the source. I wish I had done so. I’d like to argue a bit with its author.
Three of my Uncle Willard’s eleven great-grandchildren were here in Oysterville for a few days this week. Their grandmother, Mona, is my first cousin which makes them my first cousins twice removed. They and their oldest brother (who was at home working at his first-ever summer job as a life guard) are Willard’s only ‘greats’ who live on the west coast and the only greats who have ever been to Oysterville. The oldest two have been several times. All four were here – dressed like Davy Crockett! – for Oysterville’s sesquicentennial in 2004.
I am eager for these boys to feel at home in this house where their great-grandpa grew up. After all, it is entirely feasible that someday this house could belong to one or more of them. There are no greats in store for my mother. In fact, only one of the other siblings of that generation had descendants and, thus far, they have had no connection to Oysterville. So, hoping as I do that the house will remain in the H.A. Espy branch of the family, we are already talking about the boys’ next visit.
Meanwhile, Cousin Ralph arrived last night. He is my third cousin once removed. At least I think so. His great-great-grandfather William ‘Kentuck’ Espy was the brother of my great-grandfather, Robert Hamilton Espy, co-founder of Oysterville. In some of the Espy branches the youngest members are fifth and sixth cousins and we all still get together every now and then. So, I really think that “the old-fashioned family clan” is still alive and limping along in some parts of twenty-first century America – at least in the Oysterville part!
Thank you Sydney for keeping the family flame alive. It is refreshing to read in this age of splintered families, politics, nations and their borders etc. It seems almost easy to think of looking inward at your own life and then reaching out to rebuild the natural relationships inherent in the family tree that one could build a stronger society. Maybe it is just the coffee high but I like the idea!
Dear Sydney- I was just thinking about the five first cousin’s of my mother, who live in Lithuania. I just returned from visiting them for the second time in nine years. Our families were seperated by what they refer to as “soviet times”. It has been a wonderful experience to learn who they are and to have family roots to pass on to the next generation.
Thank you for sharing your Oysterville family stories.
Last year the Friezes had their first reunion in 30 years. I don’t like the fact that my children don’t know my cousins or their children so it was nice to have most of us together. Either people are too busy with their 21st century lives or just don’t care about family anymore. I have trouble with the first, second, and removed aspect of cousins, but I didn’t know what a double cousin was until recently although I know a family that has them.
I just discovered your blog and looked up to see if my visit was duly recorded. Thanks to you and Nyel for the hospitality during my short visit. I hope you enjoyed all of the fruit that I brought. Just a minor correction: William “Kentuck” ESPY was my G^3Grandfather so we are technically 3rd cousins twice removed.