And then there’s Covidchatter…
There are many ways to speak and understand English, and I’m not talking about whether you’re grounded in Australian, British, Canadian or one of the other offshoots of the mother tongue. I can think of several other commonly known (but seldom considered) types of English. For instance:
Plain-speaking: talking in a frank, outspoken, or blunt manner; most associated with Harry S. Truman (1884-1972) who served as 33rd president of the United States from 1945 to 1953. He has been described as open, frank, honest, independent, forceful, modest, confident and decisive. It has been speculated that the Myers-Briggs personality type for Harry Truman is an ISTJ (Introversion, Sensing, Thinking, Judgement. “Plainspeaking” became popular as a term with the 1974 publication of Merle Miller’s book by that name — a biography of President Truman.
Doublespeak: deliberately euphemistic, ambiguous, or obscure language that disguises, distorts or reverses the meaning of words. It is often cited as the opposite of plain-speaking. The word “doublespeak” is comparable to George Orwell’s Newspeak and Doublethink as used in his book Nineteen Eighty-Four, though the term Doublespeak does not appear there. For example, if a pharmaceutical company said something like, “There are some minor side effects,” when they should clearly be stating, “This drug may cause a heart attack,” they’re using doublespeak and communicating in a deceptive manner.
I think that we will soon be able to add a third to this “Offshoots of English” list — not that there aren’t many more, mind you, but my mind is boggled enough by our ability to “understand and convey” our words so deftly and still believe we speak a common language. Or, perhaps, it’s just another offshoot of the Time-Goes-Galloping-By syndrome. For lack of a more generic term just now, I am calling this third English variant:
Covidchatter: defining one’s actions through mandates and directives and misunderstandings and yet being way off the mark. As in, what part of “Wear a Mask” says place it below your nose? Or simply around your neck? And when did “I’m vaccinated” excuse any of us from following the mandated protocols? For that matter, what authority has ever said that being “fully vaccinated” makes us immune from giving or getting Covid? And when did the reports by health officials in our newspapers warrant the “Oh, newspapers will print what they will print” blow-off I recently received from our very own ORF (absentee) president.
I’m sure the examples go on and on ad nauseum. Perhaps we need a new dictionary. Where is Webster when we need him, anyway?
