Background Noise
It’s an ongoing discussion in our house — not an argument, exactly — but a disagreement we return to periodically, even knowing that there’s no solution. It’s one of the less important factors in the way each of us is wired — one of those “opposites attract” kinds of things, maybe. But who knew?
Nyel is one of those people who wants the radio playing all day long. I don’t think it really matters to him if he is in the room or not. He is not what you would call “an active listener” — at least not most of the time. When I catch a snippet of something and want to know more, my beloved husband of about 1/3 of a century just looks at me as if I’ve recently arrived from Mars. He has no idea how to answer. He hasn’t been listening. But godforbid I should turn that radio off.
I, on the other hand, can’t bear background anything. Voices or music or static — I need to deal with it. I am compelled to listen, maybe even to take notes or, if it offends, turn it off. Pull the plug. Whatever. And, being the sort of person that I am, I can’t concentrate on two things at once. No way.
I used to think that my brain was less able than other people’s as in my college roommates who wanted music playing while they studied. I retreated to the library. I always thought that they could do two things at once and I was, somehow, not as clever. Later, when I began teaching, some of my colleagues played “background music” while kids were doing math problems or reading silently. The theory was that it helped them concentrate. I was always glad I hadn’t had teachers like that.
But, more recently, when Nyel and I have discussed the “radio-always-on problem,” I’m thinking that I gave my roommates and others way too much credit. Nine times out of ten Nyel has NO concept about what the radio has been spewing forth. None. As in nada. “So why is it on?” I always end up asking. There apparently is no answer except maybe the radio serves different purposes for different folks. Given ten minutes of listening, Nyel is likely to be dozing in his chair. Me… usually a dozen questions forming, most of which will never get answers or even be remembered… Oh well.
This made me laugh this morning, as we have the same issues. I love quiet, and Russ likes the TV on, whether he watches or not. He thinks muting the TV solves the problem, but the visual distraction is as bad (or worse) than the auditory distraction. Fortunately, he is not in the habit of turning the TV on until late in the afternoon. He sits in the dining room and watches through the patio window! Drives me crazy. Oh, then there is falling asleep in the recliner with the TV on. Don’t get me going.
And now you’ve made me laugh, too! Thanks for weighing in!
Same issue. However, a specialist diagnosed me in midlife with what would today be considered a learning disability. If I hear two things, I hear them equally. I can’t turn one of them off and concentrate on another. When people start side conversations in a meeting, I hear both completely, making everything irrelevant. Maybe that’s why you can’t tune the radio to background.
How interesting that you can hear two complete conversations simultaneously. I think that would make me crazy. I can tune into what I want to hear but am distracted by the “noise” that something else going on creates. Plus, my inclination is to hear them both, but that seems to be impossible for me. Whatever is relegated to the “background” is basically unheard but distracts me completely from concentrating on the “foreground.” At this late date, however, I’m used to it.
It does make me crazy. And iris table. That’s why I find these Zoom meetings easier than a lot of in person ones. People don’t tend to have side conversations on Zoom. Or maybe I’m jus crazy.
I hear you Sydney. Richard used to turn on the TV, watch for 10 min’s and then go outside. So I’d turn the TV off. When he came in 1/2 hour (or more) later the conversation was always the same: HIM – Why did you turn off the TV? I was watching that. ME: Unless you can see through walls you were not, you were (multiple choice here) a) talking to the neighbor b) mowing the lawn c) washing the car d) other. Background noise drives me crazy, I need quiet … if only so that I can hear what I say when I talk to myself. :-) We don’t have TV any more, just Netflix & Prime, PROBLEM SOLVED!