Sydney and Marta, 2018

Some say September 25th is National Daughters’ Day; some, apparently, celebrate it on the fourth Sunday of September.  Whichever date it is, I’m happy to celebrate my “almost” daughter, Marta LaRue.

Marta refers to me as her “other mother” or, sometimes, as her “second mom.”  I appreciate that very much because the Cinderella story has always given “stepmother” a bad rap.  We both avoid that “step” word when we can.  I don’t think either of us resemble Cinderella’s “steps.”

Marta at Five

Marta came into my life in 1959.  She was four-going-on-five and her dad brought her to Charlie’s third birthday party at our little house on Henry Street in Berkeley.  I was already smitten with her father, and shy, adorable Marta just about sealed the deal.  Although I would terminate my marriage with her father in 1972, Marta has been one of the most imprtant parts of my life since that May 30th birthday party for Charlie.

Marta spent school vacations and every other weekend with us.  She called my parents “Granny” and “Grandpa” as Charlie did.  She came up to Oysterville with us several times, went to Camp Willapa one summer — I think she learned to play the guitar there — went on a camping trip to Arizona with us.  Always, always Marta was the buffer between her father and Charlie (whose relationship was difficult at best).

Marta’s Band c. 1980

After graduating from high school, she became a part of the Berkeley/Bay Area music scene and soon had her own band.  Betwixt and between, she waited tables, was a bartender, worked for a company that made educational software, worked as a receptionist in a law firm and, undoubtedly, there are more.  She has always managed to make her own way and make it look like nothing but fun.  What a gift!

Even as a little girl, Marta “thought” with her heart.  Her intuition and empathy  and basic kindness are characteristics that define her to this day.  For her post-retirement job, Marta’s Pet Care Services, she is “Chief Dog Walker and Pet Sitter Extraordinaire.”  Although she doesn’t say so, I sometimes wonder if her rapport with the animals in her care might be greater than with the owners involved.  It would not surprise me!