Chuck Messing, 2013

Nyel says I have an active fantasy life.  It is not said as a compliment – more as a scoff about something I’ve dreamed up to solve the world’s problems.  Or, more likely, a problem of our own.  This morning, for instance, I woke up thinking about our garden.  The grass has grown to baling length and, because Nyel is wheelchair-bound for a few months, Chuck is coming over today to mow.  Bless him!

But, Chuck is still recovering from a broken foot (what is it with these old guys, anyway!) and says he won’t be bagging/dumping the grass.  Totally understandable.  On the other hand, there will be a plethora of brown-turning mowing debris and, IMHO (in my humble opinion) that just about negates the entire mowing operation.  I’m going to do what I can, but I know from past experience that it’s a job beyond my vintage-1936 capabilities.  So… here comes the fantasy part.

Sydney, 2012

I was thinking about my oft-mentioned claim that any work I do in the garden is my “exercise program.”  I know many people a decade or so younger than I who pay good money every month to go to the gym for their own physical regimes.  I could give them a very good monthly deal – less than the gym – to come here and work in the yard.  Their choice of activities and at whatever time is convenient.  We’ll supply the tools – rakes, wheelbarrows, hoes, digging forks… whatever.  Stretching, bending, lifting, pushing – whatever exercise is needed can be accommodated.  Build your own program!

Guest Mower Owen Bays, 2015

“You have a rich fantasy life, Sydney,” resonates at this point in my reverie.  But, I know that’s not true.  If it were, I’d be writing best-selling fiction (which, as we all know, make pots more money than do books concerning the history of southwest Washington state.)  Then I’d be rich and I could hire someone to take care of those pesky grass clippings.  Although… truth to tell, I like the idea of providing an exercise service for the elderly.  And at a minimal charge, too.  Say… twenty-five dollars a month?  Contact me if you want to subscribe!

Disclaimer for the literal among us: this is a fake offer.  lol