Painting by Hunter Esmon

I know that this knot in my stomach is a shared condition.  It’s the knot I wake up with every morning.  The knot that gets bigger every time I see or hear any news about America and its so-called ‘leadership’.  The knot that may never go away in my lifetime.  It’s not exactly that it’s contagious, but it’s a condition that many of us are experiencing these days.

It is a dense gathering there in the pit of my being – made up of despair and horror, of disbelief and outrage, and… of hate.  Yes, hate.  That may be the worst part of it.  There is no doubt in my mind that hate is an unhealthy emotion.

Not that there is a commandment about it.  There are ten clear ‘thou shalt nots’ but there is no “Thou shalt not hate.”  Even so, I was taught that hating is wrong.  Trying to fix a bad situation is right.  Trying to understand another’s point of view is right.  But… hating is wrong. I grew up and grew old in the belief that hating is wrong.

“The Scream” by Edvard Munch, 1893

Hate festers I was told.  It foments and gathers and leads to nothing good.  I still believe that.  But that knot of hate in my stomach not only persists – it grows.  It grows with each mention of “investigation” or promise of “plan to impeach” or commentary on “disarray.”  It grows with each tick of my grandfather’s clock and with each new and darker dawn that arrives.

Psychologists tell us that the antidote to hate is forgiveness.  Really?  I, for one, have no desire to forgive the perpetrators and perpetuators of the evils in our current Other Washington Leadership.  I don’t know the solution and I don’t buy into platitudes about being part of the problem if you aren’t working to solve it.  Unless you believe that speaking out helps.  Which I don’t but will no doubt continue to do.

And FYI – perhaps you remember those those letters I wrote to Patty Murray and Maria Cantwell on June 25^th regarding the plight of our Hispanic neighbors (http://sydneyofoysterville.com/2017/dear-patty-murray-dear-maria-cantwell/).  I have never received an answer from either of those women.  Not from the Senator.  Not from the Representative.  Not a whisper.  Just sayin’…