1939 — Three Chimneys (and one rain barrel)

There used to be three but now there are only two chimneys at our house.  When you consider that we have five fireplaces, three in good working order, two chimneys do not seem to be an overabundance.  But, when it comes to repairing them, we might as well be talking restoration of the Sistine Chapel – no one is leaping up and down to do the work.

Long ago – probably fifty years now – the third chimney in the house was removed.  It had served two lovely little marble, coal-burning fireplaces – one in the ‘parlor’ and one in the bedroom above — but, as far as I know, they had not been used since my grandparents bought the house in 1902.  So, in the sixties, that chimney went away and the two remaining (and still used) chimneys were given a coat of stabilizing plaster which was painted green to match the house’s gingerbread.

Fern on Chimney

Two years ago, we noticed that a fern was beginning to grow out of the back side of the lower chimney!  Presumably, the plaster had cracked enough to give a foothold (or in this case, a spore hold) to a bracken-type fern and, also presumably, the situation would worsen if left to its own devices.  We contacted our friendly mason and were placed on his list.  And there we remain despite our occasional calls of inquiry.

Until recently, the fern has thrived.  Yesterday, though, I looked up there and there is nothing remaining but a blackened blob – or so it appears from my ground level vantage point.  I assume whatever nutrients were to be gained from that tenuous foothold in the cracked plaster have been depleted.  Our patience with that wait-list is depleted as well.  Where is Dick VanDyke when we need him?

Sootbuster at Work, 2015

I hasten to say, however, that we have a fabulous chimney sweep who keeps us soot-free and safe from chimney fires on a yearly basis.  But, like  VanDyke’s character Bert in Disney’s “Mary Poppins” film, our sootbuster specializes in the interior not the exterior of chimneys.   So, it’s back to a modern-day Michelangelo or someone who does plasterwork as well as painting in high places.  So far, our queries have resulted in “not by the fern on your chimney chim chim” sorts of responses.  Has our poor old house outlived the workmen who can (or are willing to) do the job?   We hope not!