Life as a Part-Timer?
I’ve never had the luxury of owning two homes. Or the desire. Although maybe that’s one of those chicken-and-egg things. But, in those brief what-if reveries when I try to imagine having a condo in the city in addition to the family house in Oysterville, for instance, I get all bogged down in the logistics and details.
For starters, I just can’t seem to get beyond the need to have duplicate “stuff.” Like who needs two can openers or two vacuum cleaners or two utility bills? And how do you decide where you would rather spend Christmas? And where would I keep all my research materials – books, documents, etc. that I often need when I write? (Contrary to popular belief, you cannot find EVERYthing online yet. Nor is my memory all that trustworthy anymore.)
My conclusion is always the same: being full-time in one place suits me just fine. So, it has come as a bit of a shock to realize that for the last ten months, we have only lived part-time in Oysterville. The other part has been spent here in Unit 53 at Emanuel Hospital! I think that epiphany hit me yesterday when Tucker sent me a half-dozen photographs of what’s been happening in the village. All of a sudden, my interest came from an entirely different perspective than it would have had I not been gone so much of the year. YIKES!
I’m not even sure I can explain it. There’s a sort of detachment about seeing familiar people and things when I look at Tucker’s pictures. It’s different when I’m ‘in residence.’ From here, I don’t feel a part of things in quite the same way. (I KNEW I couldn’t explain it!!!) The perspective is just different and it makes my entire attachment/concern/relevance feel a bit removed. It’s as though my sense of belonging has been diminished. I don’t like it at all!
Maybe I would feel differently if being away was more of a choice than a necessity. But I don’t think so. For better or for worse, my entire being seems to be entwined with Oysterville. Full time!
Your situation this past year has surely been “challenging”, to put it mildly. The emotional spectrum of the two environments is pretty dramatic and stark. I like your consideration of options and can see the pull. I was wondering how to reframe it all so there’s more comfort in reflection. And it occurred to me it’s a little like bringing a new member in to the family. A second child. A sister-in-law. A second husband of