Something’s Outta Synch

Our M2adow in March

Our M2adow in March

We knew back in January and February when it rained day after day after day that every drop would be translated into mosquitoes.  We knew as we watched the standing water gather in the swales and in the meadows and in the low area behind the church.  “Gonna be a mosquito problem come Spring,” we’d say.  And there is.

They came early.  In swarms.  The mosquito abatement guy said he’d never seen them so thick up at the cemetery.  But, just when we were in the midst of the ‘to Off or not to Off’ debate’ here came the swallows!  A bounty crop, you might say.  “Ah!  The balance of nature!” some said.  “It will all work out for the best,” some said.

Porch Mess

Porch Mess

Around our house you are more likely to hear, “Damned swallows!  What a mess!”  Two swallow facts contribute to our probably non-PC attitude about the little darlings.  The first fact:  each barn swallow (as most of ours are, though we have cliff swallows, too) eats 850 mosquitoes a day.  (That’s according to Mary McCann on BirdNote.)  That’s the good news.  But that voracious appetite translates into lots and lots of swallow guano.  That’s the bad news.

The second swallow fact:  the little darlings may be a marvel of instinct and perseverance, but they aren’t necessarily smart in their choice of real estate.  Take the one-inch ledge atop our porch windows, for instance.  Some years (like this one) Mr. and Mrs. Swallow try for days and days to build there.  Sometimes they are successful.  Sometimes not.  And sometimes, Nyel intervenes by attaching plastic-strips-that-blow-in-the-breeze as discouragement.

At The Church

At The Church

Meanwhile, though the guano (or SwallowShit as we say in our call–em-like-we-see-em sorta way) builds up on the window, on the window sill, and on the porch which is the main entrance to our house.  Not only do we (and our visitors) need to watch where we step, but we are often dive-bombed and always scolded unmercifully by busy Mr. and Mrs.  They have marked their building site and woe be unto those of us encroaching on their territory.

So, my question is:  in that entire balance-of-nature scenario, what is it exactly that is going to balance the guano problem?  (And, did you know, that when you scrub guano off a painted surface – like your house—the paint comes with it?)  I mean, really!  Rain equals mosquitoes equals swallows equals guano.  Is that really Mother Nature’s idea of a suitable end product?  Surely not.

And did I say, that for the first time in forty years, there are swallow nests in progress at the church?  Three of them, so far.  We can only pray…

One Response to “Something’s Outta Synch”

  1. Stephanie Frieze says:

    Have you tried Murphy’s oil soap or Googone in spray bottles for clean-up? I know what you mean about the scrubbing. Our porch railing in Ilwaco is generally a mess this season. I generally pour cooking oil into the stagnant pond in the vacant house next door, but the mosquitos were so bad that I had Dave empty the pond with a bucket. He felt bad about the tadpoles, but we were going to be eaten alive before they became mosquito eating frogs. This all puts me to mind of a conversation I had with an Ocean Park Elementary School parent 26 or 27 years ago. I had complained about the birds building nests under the eves of our Nahcotta house. “You tack raccoon pelts up there. That will prevent them building nests.” Does Oysterville have any raccoon hunters?

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